judgement day

finals are comin. nearly everyone is busy studying, or holding a book for their own sake.

however, i chose a path less taken.

i played games, online games, watched movie, chatted, surf d net... did everything but revise.

how worse can it get?? i did all that just one week b4 my exams.

hahaha... but only 1 day to go... now d fear creeps in...

half regretted spending my precious time doing all that.

i studied, a little here n there... hopefully it's enough to excel myself to a position whereby i won't embarrass myself too much.

wishing all my friends super duper Best of Luck in their finals!

My schoolmates n best pals... my sisters... my university friends... whoever i missed or indirectly forgotten...

hope everyone scores with flying colours.

P/s: english getting from bad to worse, nd to do smt bout it.

from an addict...

it's been a while... life continues as usual...

just been back fr my college's ccc trip. been to cameron.

scale: 1 - 10, i'll giv it a 6.

thr r moments of fun n friendship, yet i dun see d impact as much as others camps i'v joined.

enough bout that.

title of my blog doesn't mean i'm on drugs...

it's on drama series!! now, addicted to gokusen, hana yori dango, hana kimi, ouran high school host club...

more to come of course!!!

i'm so deadmeat, in hot soup now! but i can't help myself.

these are quite old dramas, but absolutely enjoying it anyway

literally addicted. there's no other word for the situation i'm in now.

won't be able to escape this blackhole so soon, but i'm whole-heartedly willing to be in it.

BWAHAHAHA...

Life's short, better enjoy while i can...

i wanna be a person who can say that : my happiness is for me to decide, not others.

however, i can't. i noticed many of my actions orbit araound how others look at me,

what others will think, what affect'll it have on others.

everything orbits around the effect it'l cause.

i nd help n advice!!

mom told me: u think u'r very important in the community, actually u'r just a tiny part of it la...

so stop thinking too much!!

haha... got me bombed right in the face!

started thinking bit more for myself now... enjoying all these dramas n songs like

homesick

came back uni after sem break, n not liking it...
feeling terribly homesick now.. listening to songs to calm my silly feelings.
anyway, songs really do help.


noticed things r different within ppl i know... ppl change, yet as a friend, i wanna know wat changes r occuring.
one can only ask n wait, if speak, will not, then i can ask no more...
to share or not to share is not my say, it's ur call, n i respect that.
just wanna tel my friends that i'l try to be thr for u guys as best as i can...
anything u wanna chat about, i'l b ur listener...

really appreciate all those wonderful personalities that had coloured my life.
including my loving family, amazing friends, educaters n all who had be in my any moment of my life, be it strangers or just passer by.

hope my friends r happy in their respective uni...
may i hear fun n interesting news when i meet up wif them next time...
hope to c u guys soon!!!
AZA AZA HWAITING!!!

Just to write...

There are things in life you can't live without,
there are things in life you choose not to live without,
some things in life, you can be without,
some things in life needs to stay...

A cloud over my head...
there are times i never look up and realize it's existance,
there are times i do stare
one way or the other, there is a cloud over my head...
no words can heal and cure it, as words are laid and said,
with words i hurt and break it, those words i'l always regret,

Time might patch things up, yet time can tear it down...

It hurts, being human...
joy only sometimes,
in a quest to eternal peace,
a quest one journeys through life
never ending...
hope may fade but never despair,
for hope is always forever there...

life's turning over a new happy leaf...for now...

life's getting better for me here in UM. New friendships are getting more stable, timetables are mostly fixed already, so less headaches n complains...
fun starts to come into life, with trips around d area, night market, shopping centres n so on...
studies are stil ok, with reports to do already, notes to catch up with... i should be searching for infos while i'm online but u can guess wat i'm doin now...
blogging, emailing.. haha...
hope more interesting events will happen in uni...
goin on youtube now... bwahahahaha....
miss family n friends...T-T
hope to meet up soon...

my life in uni...

Alone in my room now.. my roommate left on Thursday nite, so I was zzzing alone last nite. Still, life is ok here… slowly adapting to my everchanging friends. Haha, everyday I’m like joining a different gang. Anyway, getting very little entertainment here. No TV, no wireless, yet, no story books to read ( I didn’t look anyway). For now, the only entertainment for me is switching on my laptop and listening to songs.
Keep writing blogs but couldn’t post it online, can only write and save in word’s file. Today is a Saturday, everything slows down on weekends here, cos I don’t have classes to rush to, no meetings to go to, no activities to participate in. So I made an arrangement with a few friends to go midvalley, again…
Life is hard yet simple. Hard in the sense that I need to wash my own laundry, hard in the sense that I need to walk to wherever I wanna go, hard to wake up in the early morning, hard to keep up with a stable pack of friends. But I’m trying hard to overcome all that. Simple in the sense that everything seems totally quiet and calm once the weekends arrive. Then I’ll just laze ard in my room, or my college, mostly my room, with nothing to do. Maybe it’s still early of the semester, so I don’t have assignments or any notes to catch up with yet. Wait til later, I might complain nonstop.
From the beginning, I’ve already seen different characters in school. Starting to notice selfish ones, I’m not sure whether it’s because I’m not close to them so I don’t get certain information or it’s my own personal prejudice or negative thoughts. Then there are friendly ones, jovial ones… but I guess all these are only the tip of an iceberg. I will see better and worse of Homosapiens.
Really miss the fun times I have with my close friends. Here, it’s a start over, everything is from zero. I feel small here. But buds will bloom, it’s just a matter of time and effort. Alright!! I made my own words of wisdom d!! “Buds will bloom, it’s just a matter of time and effort” Nice one, JuiN!!
To my family and friends: Hope everyone is okey or in better state than I am. Wish u guys all the best in life!! Really missing everyone. And my cats as well…

To Khairul, a friend of mine,
REST IN PEACE…
May u be happy by God’s side…

muz b bored reading my story...

We did a trip to midvalley today. Our senior brought us there, just to let us experience the trip and get to know which bus to be on next time. All is going quite well. Still worried about my course and timetable. Do u think lecturers here are strict and fierce?? I hope I dun get chased out of a lecture hall… hahaha.. silly imagination. Anyway, these few days after the MHS, this laptop has been my friend in boredom n sadness… DBSK has also been a constant buddy cheering me up. Their songs just clicks with me!! Trying hard to learn how to type fast now, not really succeeding, of course I’m still in the trying stage. Not much to write bout today, no activities except for the little trip to midvalley. Didn’t get to shop around anyway. Just rushed into Carrefour and started getting all the goods needed.
Gotta get some sleep, don’t wanna fall asleep during my 1st lecture. Hope I don’t.
Hope all is goin well at home n with my friends. Miss bunny n lao er n kyky… miss my bed at home, the mess I can make at home, miss food, miss family, miss yamcha time with gangie. Miss my sweet time in f6 n high school time. The camps, the outings, mural painting, sports, kl playing card time, screaming away outside the room, at the hallway during midnight… playing mahjong, having bbq at my house, catching bugs time.. silly jokes in class, imitating our teachers, mr tan especially… his spiderman style teaching n laughter.. no I mean smile..the way he poke the marker on the board, then later ask us whether we cut the tip off, hahaha.. the way he said: u think easy ar??!! Very hard u know!! Or the way he asked us, why so quiet, didn’t do well in exam izit??!! Hahahaha
Wondering whether life in uni would be the same way, then I wouldn’t feel so lonely n faraway fr home… anyway, life needs to go on!! So.. AZA AZA HWAITING!!!

a freebird today!!!

I’m a freebird today… my MHS is over… I had been complaining about the MHS since day one, but to reflect on it now, the more I complain bout it makes me love it more. Now I’m missing it like anything. The cheers, the scolding, rushing and all.
Today I had nothing to do the whole day, making me feel very hollow and empty. I guess without the rushing in MHS, I had no activities planned out for me. Now I’m bored, my roommate went home, I’m lonely, I start thinking bout home n old friends. Home sickness becomes overwhelming, friendsickness becomes powerful as well. Nervousness to start class starts to sink in horribly. Suddenly realize there are a lot I don’t know about this university life, lost in my timetable and direction in campus. What to do, oh what to do.
I nearly cried of boredness, homesickness, friendsickness, nervousness and all!!! Lucky for my early planning, DBSK is giving me some comfort now. At first, it was silly of me to listen to slow sad songs. Now, “phantom” is playing. I got “purple line” lined up, “get me some”, “Movin’” from bleach, “ kanashimi wo yasashisa ni” from naruto. Fast songs can surely cheer me up!!! Feeling lot better d.
I may not know anything now, but I sure hope I learn quickly. I’m sure freshies can be forgiven if I did something wrong, just don’t repeat it. Law of attraction says that my life in uni will be smooth sailing, full of joy, packed with activities, teamed with friends and college mates!!!
Go Kurshiah Go!!!

another story in uni

Last night was the last day of my orientation week for our 3rd college, Kolej Tuanku Kurshiah. There was this Majlis Juara-juara. I had the best time there in these so many days of orientation. We had a cheering competition, what my cheering unit PM is waiting for. We did our best!!! Although I shouted wrongly during a couple of parts. Haha!!! All in good fun!! Anyway, after everything was over, we arrivedback at our college around 12am. Then our PM introduce themselves for the last time, and apologized for their harshness and “brutality” throughout the whole week. It was touching for me. Even writing this blog now makes me think back and bring tears in my eyes. Now I have this lump in my throat d. Plus I’m writing alone in my room and listening to slow songs from dbsk, “forever love”, creating this sad atmosphere.
All these orientation, interaction, games, cheering bring back memories of my time in high school, organizing camps and all. Yet their sincerity touched me. It’s just a few hours past when I woke up this morn, already I’m missing the orientation week. The PMs gave me really horrible first impression on the first day. However, I grew to love them more n more with each passing day.
Wondering when I can do all that again… wondering how my friends in other uni are doing… wondering what will come to be in my years in this uni. Life is getting better everyday. I’m comforting myself. Hope all will be smooth sailing for me here. Now already getting to know new friends and seniors.
Really sad now thinking back orientation time. I wonder of other college mates feel the way I do. Anyway, everybody HWAITING!!!
Oh ya, met a Cassiopeia today. Good days are ahead……

3rd written experience, fr uni...

Sleepy & tired… it’s 12.30pm. I know the time but I have lost track of date & day. This is the 4th or 5th day into the orientation. All is still goin ok as usual. And usual means lots of throat-exercising for the PMs.
I quite enjoyed the cheers we did though. But I guess not all are really spirited in doing it. Not feeling the cheers fully. Listening to talks now. Many are drifting away to you-know-where. How could they not be. With few hours of Zzz per day plus lots of running from a spot to another, lots of cheering.
Our YDP MPMUM gave a speech earlier on. You can totally see why he got elected as the head. He gives speeches better than our prime minister. He’s got the spirit, the knowledge, the inspiration and all the qualities of a leader. Salute to YDP!! Did I tell you bout the speech given by the bonda Vice Chancellor of UM?? She’s good… she speaks with such diction, such steady speed, such force that u can catch each n every word she said and digest it before the next word came out of her mouth. I dunno why but I nearly cried, touched by her speech. How often so u get that feeling from a speech?! Cool!! Having new experiences and knowledge. Life should be fine and fun in UM!
Really hope so…

2nd blog fr uni...

It’s 12.30am. having a better day than yesterday. The torturing, insulting, screaming is unavoidable during this week. Yet, I had a better day than yesterday. Guess why?? My college’s girls volleyball team, the one I’m in, won 2 matches in a row, winning us a place in the semi finals. I did not play though but I surely can proudly say that I cheered for my team. The game was the light of my week here. Volleyball is in my blood, I guess. Totally into the game, so I lost myself in it just now and have forgotten bout the torturous treatment I’m getting.
I didn’t volunteer to play. Erm, I did not believe in myself enough and we cannot afford to lose. Other games’ teams lost and got a tongue-lashing from our KPM. However, volleyball team didn’t get the proper credit. If that’s not bad yet, wait til u hear this: we have to be the champion in the game since we got into the semi’s. How nice of a compliment is that!!
3rd college PMs are havin a tough time though. Our KPM is also the head of all KPMs, so there is this certain dignity to maintain and protect. Since we lost most of the games, one can never blame them for being so mean. They just care or shall I say “kiasu” and “kiasi”. I wouldn’t wanna lose face either if I were them. So let’s HWAITING for the game then!!!
Gotta Zzz d. nite!!

1st day in uni

It’s 12.37am now, showed on my phone. Had a “hell” of a day!! Literally!!
It’s 2 days into he orientation, I still cannot figure out why my PMs ( Pembantu Mahasiswa ) are behaving this way. They scream, they shout, they frown, they jeer, they insult, they scold, they punish… The reason behind this is beyond me for other colleges d not seem to be in this terrible state. Maybe my college freshies are really slow, weak, brainless, snails or whatever they called us.
1 to 10, I’ll rate them a 2, except for those few whose attitude and leadership touched a little tip in my heart. In this horrible orientation, a smile from a PM can give a little cheer in life. Anyway, I don’t remember me treating my juniors this way. I gained their respect and attention all the same. You can be strict with a smile, u know…
It’s late, and I can’t get enough sleep if I keep writing… Good night then!! Oyasuminasai!

don't feel like growing up just yet...

goodbye seems to be the hardest word for me right now, not sorry...(my apologies, sir elton john)
thinking of some crazy times i had in high school
saying hi n hugging goodbyes to new formed friendships
catching bugs, dissecting...
baking cakes and failing at baking cakes...
creating art in interesting ways...
fooling around with our studies...
imitating certain respected figures
playing cards in the hallway
trying to stay quiet yet laughing out loud,
creating mad jokes and trying to stay up all night, yet giving in to dreamland...
risking life for food...being nervous yet brave at the same time
coping with life threatening examination at the end of year 2008

too many memories and experiences to be told in one go,
yet wonderfully gone through in just a year and a half...

can we not say goodbye, can we not part
can we not move on in life, it's breaking my heart
feeling so bad, and feeling so sad
don't feel like growing up just yet...

my first time...

My First Time......

if u r thinking of anything nonsense...like i think u r... then u r wrong!!!
this is my first time : blogging...
never thought that i needed to blog my life in here, i used to think blogging was such ridiculous thing to do!!
why d H*** do u want to write information about your private life online so that it could be read by the whole world??!!
then it seems i was d one being silly by not doing it.
a friend of mine shown me what blogging could do.
wonderful memories could be stored and shared, written for everyone, giving people the chance to see what little things i treasure in life and hoping i could spread a little bit of love and happiness around.
i hope my future writings will never have any unhappy memories.

here, i wish all my friends the best of luck in life and their future undertaking. May all the best things in life go to u guys!!!
i guess my family members should get my wishes too!! wishing them all the happiness and blessings in the world!!! May "The Secret" always work for everyone!!!

P/s: feels good to write... haven't written in a long while.
Sorry to "Jay", my diary. guess i will be abandoning Jay for my blog now!!! XD