Friday, November 4, 2011

I finally cried my heart out, after holding it in for 3 days.
My purpose of joining TFM has always been vague.
I had not planned on my future and TFM was an "off-the-shelf" 2-year plan for me.
I did not have to worry about what to do in 2 years time.
I came in partly because I had this lazy thought in my mind.
I was not sure about what to do for Masters.
So TFM seems like an instant solution.

TFM came like a calling, it sounded definite, reliable, and of course noble.
I have been back and forth with nothing in mind and this sounded secure and stable, at least for 2 years.
Somehow, power of thought, I had a feeling I'd get this. Applying nothing else but TFM, yet unsure of why I did it, I still knew I'd get in.
I came to the Institute, unprepared, not finishing my Pre-reading pack, which I ought to have read through to begin my 'journey'.
Small, I felt, for many came from overseas, speaking absolutely fluent English, some even with accents (no judgement there)!
Everyone seemed so cool and big (not in size). Everyone looked so sure about themselves doing this.
Everyone else seemed to have read up stuff and prepared to embark on this path.
I was everything but all that...

I came in, open to everything they can offer me, for I had nothing to begin with.
My passion was not solid when I came in. I had doubts...
Some way or another, something called to me, and knowing I had accepted it,
even after being forewarned about the what-maybe-the-worst-2-years-of-your-life, I had to come.
It would be terrible, morally, not to go on.
I came here, soften by the thought of so many people supporting me, physically, intellectually, mentally and emotionally.
My passion and drive were the two main things I came to look for here.
Both of this needs to be solidified and filled, for this will be one hell of a ride.

It has only been 3 days, and I have been humbled to my knees.
3 days have made me grown so much.
What I have seen, learnt and experienced here moved me like no 23-years of life experience can.
I thought I was brought up well, filled with values and character.
I came to realize all that values were nothing without me putting it to good use.
This Institute and TFM helped me channel those values out.
I gained my self-worth, I saw my value, all the I-am-small feelings faded and I focus on the value that I have, however tiny it may be.
I can work on that! And I will...


杏彤 said...

I'm sure that you're not alone! It's good that you have all positive thoughts! *wave like Dossier while snap snap like Reid* You go girl!

~JuiN~ said...

Sang-Q! *snapping fingers* ^^