*lost*

Have the world always been so harsh?
there are things i still can't grasp.
Buddha's teaching mentioned for us to be mindful.
I am not mindful..enough...
Are there things i have done wrong?
Is it time for Kharmma to get back on me?
If it is so, it has chosen the right way to do it.
I hurt more by taking away things precious to me than hurt myself.
To torture me emotionally and mentally is a more ruthless way to make me suffer.
Always in samsara, as long as i am in the Cycle.
I need time on my own...
Always feel like running away, although knowing it will never help.
Just a lil time for myself to clear my mind.
Just a lil time to reflect on my actions.
Just a lil time to think on the proper solution to deal with things.
Just a lil time...
Is that too much to ask?

distance... does it really matter?

friends, i do have friends...
family, of course i have a family!
soulmate?? hmm...
however, whether you have family or friends, having the person near or far doesn't matter. it's the thoughts, sincerity, care and love that counts.
you can be miles away, yet you feel the warmth of them missing you.
you can be so near, yet care nothing about each other...
there are invisible ties that connects 2 hearts and 2 souls.
distance is never a problem. never was, never will...

a long time since...

I AM MAD!
been a long time since i flipped... can't remember when was the last time.
i am not a scream-at-u-when-i-pissed-off type of person(i think), but there are times when things need to be let out.
unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, i didn't do that.
mom said just think of it as my own kharmma... yes, that could be it.
but my kharmma affected ppl around me too! how does that happen?
anyway, i need to let it out someday, going on this way, might end up dying early...
I seriously don't want that. there are still too many things i haven't experienced!!
thus, i need to let it out, someway, somehow... blogging bout it isn't helping much.
oh, what am i mad about?? tons of things, suddenly crashing down on me like there's no tomorrow...
by midnight, it all ended quietly...
i'll just give a few keywords out: TRUST, RESPONSIBILTY, TIMING, HONESTY, DELEGATION OF WORK.

goodnight!

22 sept 09

2days has past since hari raya! so wishing all muslims happy raya aidilfitri!
selamat menyambut syawal!
it's been a while... thr is much to blog about, but i dunno whr to begin.
thr's d AWESOME pangkor trip! thx to louise and her great committee! thx to all who attended n made it so memorable for me as well!
Crazily fun karae-oke night!
first time started singing k at 11pm til 4am, then went str for breakfast!!
stories on my sis in japan, sis in kt,
my coursemate's birthday party...(happy belated birthday, shob!)
anyway, they were all awesomely fantastically wonderful!!
all these made me feel how worthied it is to be alive, to be where i am today.
i might have gone to another state to study, might have stayed bec in kt...
might have made another bunch of friends, might have kept quiet n be in my own room or world,
thr r many mights n mays, but i ended up in UM, ended up meeting this bunch of cuckoos(meant it in a nice way, of cos!)
lucky me!
ups n downs of cos thr will be, but y shud i bore myself v d dark n dingy when thr is always d bright n colourful to be cherished?! rite?

Juin, stop blabbing nonsense... getting emotional now.. sorry!
i hope to gather pictures n upload it here later. wait for it!

now, wishes:
To Lucia mi amiga, 2209!
Feliz compleanos!! te echo de menos!!! XOxo <3
To all frens and also my papa, all born in september, Happy Birthday!!!
To er jie:
cherish the moments!
to lil sis, shern:
ganbatte ne! after exam come down kl gai gai la! hehe...
<3<3<3

at last a lil time for my own...

d week after my sem break was super hectic, assignments n tests...
d week after, things improved.. now things are so much better.
of cos there are always work to do... yet i feel more at peace now.

yesterday, college had a blackout. pre-known blackout. started at 9am til 7.30pm.
so, i left.. left college to the library with my friends... attracted to the energy source: electricity
then, few of us went out for a feeding frenzy. had a said-to-be-famous porridge, then hokkien mee, then taufufa+soy bean drink, sau bao, nearly went for bakuteh if it wasn't for our limits... $$ limits...

nvr blogged bout dis yet.. but our room had a RAT!!
quite a huge one too! yesterday while i was out, my roommates managed to bait it out n caught it in a trap... yippee!!
but sad for d furry fren of ours, it didn't end well for him/her.
anyway, another bad news arise. there is another smaller rat in our room! DANG!!
but at least it is a lil peaceful now, no more sleepless o sleeping in fear nights worrying the rat might pop up on our bed o smt...

congrats er jie (micky-senpai now) for her success in climbing mt fuji!!! (although ntg to brag much about...hehe)
congrats to my cousin uncle for his soon to come wedding!
n happy belated birthday to my aunt as well!

rebooting failed!

my aug sem break is comin to an end.
i am stil in time-out mood.
rebooting of my mood failed big time!
brain lag...
mood hang...
assignments...restoring items from recycle bin: -loading......1%-
homesick again!!

*just wrote all dis to update my blog*0.o

bla bla bla...

only one week left! one week left to my flight back home!
one week left to returning bec to my cosy sweet home!
with all the deaths surrounding me... i'm stil happy...
dat's not rili good!
H1N1 is causing lots of deaths in malaysia.
til now, nearly 20 ppl have died!! it's an epidemic!!
however, after so many closure of high schools and higher-learning institution, UM is still holding on! sounds strong!
mayb cos of d precautionsUM took when the new sem started.
mostly everyone were quarantied for a week b4 a clearing was given.
wat is d world comin to?

there's a joke i read:
some ppl said that if a black guy became president, pigs will fly.
100days later: swine flu!
*it's just a joke!*

have been sleeping for hours today! suppose to go out to get a new pair of sandals.
mine now turn fr a normal pair of sandals to d infamous "CROCS"!!
*snap snap* it can open n close it's "front jaw"
pity i can't upload a pic of it.
hopefully i can change my hp soon! been hoping for it since forever!!
d batt is causing me some probs now... no indication of low batt, then when i'm speaking halfway on d phone:
"hello... helllooo??" - actually d hp died... n conversation cut!
super frustrating esp when it was an urgent conversation goin on!

btw, tried my first call to japan, to my sis's mobile today at 8.50am!
SUCCESS!! xpensive though! but a breakthrough nevertheless!
my 1st overseas call!
means i can try more next time... just nd to get d right number!
*i sure tried a hell lotta numbers just to get tru to u o, er jie!*
end here...
spent the last minute reading nonsense? dun blame me!
i'm just extracting memories into my pensieve...