When the mundane gets poisonous in my head

There is no more progress to see...
There are no small achievements for me in class...
The same bunch of kids are curious, the same group of kids are disruptive, the same faces are apathetic...
I'm constantly expecting changes, maybe that's why I am hurting on the inside...now...
I have learned my lesson that expectations lead to disappointment, but as a teacher, how can I not expect anything out of every class I go to?!
I do not know what I need to get out of my current mindset.
When I talk about the hopes for my kids, I'm still full of passion and hope.
But, somehow, there is something in me that makes me lay longer in bed before I wake up on school days.
My kids fuel me, but maybe now the fuel ran out...
I need more fuel, kids! Help me!

The H in me

They affect how I feel and how I react.
They sway me from my passion, causing me to focus on negativity and let the good goes by.
What if the decisions I've made before this was all because of them?
What if the decisions to be made in future are decided when they are at work too?
They peak and they dip... making me inconsistent and crazy at times.
I worry because of them, yet happy because of them too!
In a dilemma...
What do I do when the H in me takes over...

See Me After Class - Roxanna Elden

"This book is meant to keep you from getting discouraged when it seems like all those fabulous ideas you learned in training don't work in your own classroom."
"This book is NOT chicken soup for the teacher's soul. It's more like hard liquor for the teacher's soul, because new teachers need something stronger than chicken soup."
"But we need you to stay on your job, and stay sane."

An awesome read. And I am only on chapter 3.
As a teacher, this books will make you feel better knowing there are teachers who have been there, done that, EXACTLY like what you are going through now. That's the awesome part, EXACTLY like what I am going through now. Hence, it is giving me good humour knowing that what I am going through is not just my problem but nearly every new teacher as well. I am terrible, but I am not "specially" terrible. I am not that good at doing a bad job, so don't be so emo about being bad. There are WORSE cases.
It is like reading a diary of your own story, just written by someone else, which makes it really funny as well.

Love it~!

I sel~fish in class

I am selfish and evil and disguised as a teacher.

Muahahahaha~

I taught fractions and did a little survey in class, which indirectly is an ego-booster for myself.

I did a data collection of their favourite subject in school which will lead to writing of fractions and drawing diagrams of the fractions.

Number of students: 20.

Number of students that wrote Maths and ICTL as their favourite subject: 8 and 6, which equals to 14.

I teach them both Maths and ICTL. XP

EGO BOOSTED! FTW!!